Therapy
In Elemental. More on Medium.
My Therapist Says
As the pandemic recedes, I’ve got to decide what kind of life I actually want to live
When school let out for winter break of 2020, I finally started to lose my shit. It wasn’t the holidays, a possible election coup, my kids off Zoom school for a couple weeks, writing deadlines, managing my newsletter, or having to ready my online classes for a January 4 start date that had me at a breaking point. It was the upcoming vaccine rollout.
Everyone was starting to plan their vacations; schools were talking about bringing the kids back to campus; my partner was talking about going to a fall 2021 concert. Yet, I felt anxious. At the culmination of…
A call to broaden the mental health standard of care
America is in the midst of a mental health crisis that will have lasting effects. In January, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that more than one in three adults were experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression, a number which has steadily increased since April of 2020. The ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, concerns about racial injustice, climate change, and state of the economy, among other stressors, are creating an unprecedented storm. People are hurting.
The need for mental health support is becoming even more critical, yet many still face significant barriers. As a clinical psychologist and executive at…
Good Question
What research says about how it works in the brain — and the many conditions it may be useful for
Welcome to my new column for Elemental. Each Tuesday, I’ll attempt to answer a thought-provoking health question with the help of one or two experts. If you’d like to suggest a topic, please email me at goodhealthquestion@gmail.com.
Hypnosis has long struggled with branding issues. For many, the term still conjures visions of swinging pocket watches and charlatans incanting, “Look into my eyes.” (No thank you.)
Jessie Kittle wants to dispel all those old associations and misconceptions. “The idea that you can take over someone’s brain and run them around like a puppet against their will — that doesn’t happen,” says…
MY THERAPIST SAYS
Here’s how my marriage improved when I learned to do it right — and when to skip the apology altogether
I stood at the sink and glared at my husband, Paul, who traipsed through the kitchen in his shoes. Again. “I forgot my phone,” he said, creeping back out on tiptoe as if to deposit less dirt on my clean floor. He blew me a kiss before pulling the door shut with a wimpy “Sorry!” on his way out.
Was he?
During our decade-long marriage, conversations about shoes in the house had remained unchanged: He forgot, I reminded him, he apologized, we repeated.
After a while, it wasn’t about the shoes. I wanted to know my requests mattered. If he…
My Therapist Says
Here’s how I learned to transform present pain into future growth
At 13, I told my grandmother that one day everyone would know that I was único, Spanish for unique. That was my code for being queer.
“You already are, my son. The past and the future can never meet. That’s why God placed the present in the middle,” she told me.
My grandmother’s words came back to me in an unexpected way, thanks to the chaos that the Covid-19 pandemic wrought in both the world and my life. Before the pandemic, I had a thriving special events business in San Francisco. I planned elegant galas for startups and cooked and…
My Therapist Says
After receiving a reading that sent me spiraling, my therapist reminded me that I need to learn to trust myself
The astrologer appeared stricken as she looked at the zodiac-based tarot card before her. After pausing to digest it, she told me, “There are many people who enjoy it when you fail.”
At the time of that astrology session, which was several years ago, I had just broken up with a girlfriend. I was in court with business partners, navigating a stalled career and watching my savings dwindle. The reading was an impulsive visit I made while walking up Amsterdam Avenue in New York City one night after a first date that wasn’t going to lead to another.
An elderly…
A wide gulf lies between what we ‘see’ on psychedelics and what we do with what we saw
Twenty minutes late, Matt (whose name was changed for privacy) stumbles into my therapy office, dives onto my green couch, stretches out like a Freudian pro, and buries his face in his hands. Matt, a renowned New York wellness entrepreneur, had found me through the intersection of Burning Man and the plant medicine communities — where most of my clients come from. …
My Therapist Says
In a time when we’re experiencing so much turmoil, divisiveness, and lack of empathy, sensitive people are necessary
I’ll never forget the moment my son received vaccinations as an infant. He held onto me and my eyes welled up with tears as my husband innocently chuckled as he watched my reaction. All I could see was the fear in my baby boy’s eyes as he braced himself for the unknown. It didn’t matter that I knew the vaccine was protecting him. In that moment, I was living vicariously through my adorable little man and I felt his pain.
When the story was retold to others, my husband said, “You know how she gets.”
I hear those words often…
My Therapist Says
I’m learning to reject the overpowering desire to have the one answer to my anxiety.
In early 2017, I experienced my first panic attack. I was in a work meeting with my manager when I began to feel hot and claustrophobic, sure I was going to throw up. I kept looking to the door, willing it to open and for an invisible force to propel me out of the room to safety. Eventually, I excused myself, explaining that I didn’t feel well.
On the subway ride home, as in the meeting room, I felt trapped; each time the doors slid shut, a wave of dread washed over me. After a few stops, I summoned the…
My Therapist Says
It’s okay to lose a friendship
This summer I reached an impasse with a close friend, who is white, over the Black Lives Matter movement. In the decade we’ve known each other, I had always felt comfortable talking to him about my own experience of otherness as an Indian American. But when I pointed to his whiteness as a privilege he ought to examine, he grew defensive, blew up, and ghosted.
I’m not someone who falls out with friends easily or often. The few times it has happened, my instinct is to ask, “How did I get myself into this?” …
