5 Tips for Living With Radical Uncertainty

A Black oncologist and cancer survivor passes on her wisdom

Shekinah Elmore, MD, MPH
Elemental

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Closeup of hand of a patient at hospital with IV drip.
Photo: XiXinXing/Getty Images

I would hate to think that cancer has taught me any lessons.

In the deeply clichéd sense, that is probably true. I have not changed my diet. I am still impatient, flappable. I do not cherish every moment. I do not consider my experience “a gift.” I did not alter my career trajectory much, if at all. I spend my time mostly inside and among people like me, people with cancer, when perhaps I should be outside enjoying nature’s splendor. At a basic level, I continue to be who I am, who I have always been. For better and for worse.

Nevertheless, in the first days of March, I gave a talk at TEDMED about my experience inhabiting the narrow Venn diagram space of people who had cancer first and became oncologists second. I spoke, in person, unmasked, to a room full of people about learning to live joyfully with radical uncertainty. As I recounted the details of being misdiagnosed with metastatic cancer, then correctly diagnosed with two independent cancers, subsequently undergoing multiple brutal and long treatments, and then, finally, starting medical school all within the space of a year, I asked the audience, “What’s the worst that could happen?” What more heartbreak could possibly befall me? There is always more, of course. But…

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