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Good Sex Doesn’t Always Mean an Orgasm
According to science, an orgasm may have very little to do with sexual pleasure
When the sex toy company Dame Products develops new items, they ask beta testers a variety of questions to determine how well a new design is working for their clientele. Testers are asked to assess the contours of the toy’s body, the strength and rhythms of its vibration, and, for an overall assessment, they’re asked if the product they just tested “got the job done.” As opposed to: “Did you orgasm?”
The Dame team doesn’t rely on euphemism because they’re shy about pleasure and sex. Rather, the phrase “get the job done” is more open-ended; it allows testers to determine for themselves how a product contributed to the success of their sexual experience. And notably, when testers are asked to define what “getting the job done” means for them, the answers are more diverse than you might expect.
Many respondents define “getting the job done” as experiencing orgasm (or, in some cases, a particularly strong orgasm, or several orgasms in a row). But in a survey conducted by Dame during the development of the Pom — a flat, slightly curved vibrator designed to fit in the palm of the user’s hand — 14% of testers reported that they don’t see orgasm as a necessary criterion for a toy to be considered good. Instead of orgasm, these respondents cited “relaxation” or “pleasure” or, in one case, “a throbbing clitoris” as their goal — all experiences that can coexist with orgasm but certainly do not have to.
Data shows again and again that women are more likely than men to struggle with orgasm. Studies report that women are significantly less likely to experience orgasm during heterosexual sex than their male partners, and women experience orgasm-less sex at a higher rate than men. There’s an assumption that the absence of orgasm is the result of an incompetent partner or insufficient stimulation — the kind of problem that vibrators are supposed to solve. So why are some people, who are invested enough in pleasure and sex toys to beta test vibrators, also happy with products that don’t result in a big finish?
Alexandra Fine, the CEO and co-founder of Dame Products, says the existence of a significant cohort of people who experience pleasure…
