How to Get Out of a Funk
Renowned psychologist and relationship expert Harriet Lerner weighs in on chronic melancholy
You have a decent job, a long-term partner, and a few good friends. And yet, you feel bored, sad, and like you’re stuck in a hamster wheel. It’s not quite depression, but more of a persistent feeling of melancholy. How can you make it go away? I hear this all the time.
The experience of being in a “funk” can feel like you’re paralyzed in gloominess. I’ve often seen clients who report being bored or distant or in a funk for no apparent reason and as we talk, a specific issue surfaces. One woman, for example — let’s call her Claire — recently came to me saying similar things. Through our conversation, I learned that Claire had just reached the age when her own father had taken his life, and this anniversary date stirred up a wealth of thoughts and feelings that ran like a river of pain under the felt experience of “boredom and bleh” that she first presented with. If you are feeling totally bored and sad, there is probably something under that feeling that you may want to focus on, even if it’s as ordinary as re-thinking your work goals or taking a closer look at your relationship with your partner.
That said, this is often what adulthood is (if you’re lucky enough not to worry about your next meal…
