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Losing a Pet Is as Painful as Losing a Human
I didn’t just lose a tiny, seven-pound chihuahua. I lost a family member.
“Hi, my dog died. Could I possibly have an extension on this assignment?”
Sending several variations of this email to editors I was working with felt like a version of “my dog ate my homework.” It felt weird, silly even, typing out the words, but I couldn’t craft any other sentences, let alone full articles. I wished it was a made-up excuse.
As badly as I wanted to get my mind off my dog’s death, I couldn’t. It was impossible to work. I stared at blank Google Doc sheets while nothing (usable) came up. All I could picture was replaying the exact moment I learned she died — the way it didn’t feel real, the way I couldn’t breathe, the way I felt so guilty for not being there with her that night.
I didn’t just lose a tiny, seven-pound chihuahua. I lost a family member of 10 years.
Many people develop deep bonds with their pets. According to a 2018 survey, 72% of Americans consider their pets to be family members, and research on pet loss throughout the years has consistently shown that the loss of a pet can feel as detrimental as the loss of a human family member.
Society still doesn’t look at pet loss as seriously as human loss, resulting in it being disenfranchised grief, or grief that isn’t as fully recognized or publicly mourned.
Psychologists acknowledge that human-pet relationships can result in an attachment bond — a meaningful, close, emotional bond not unlike parent-child relationships or other relationships where caregiving and love are involved. These attachment bonds don’t necessarily end when a pet dies; rather, a continuing bond ensues. Studies have pointed out similarities between continuing bonds in human loss and pet loss.
Despite this, society still doesn’t look at pet loss as seriously as human loss, resulting in it being disenfranchised grief, or grief that isn’t as fully recognized, acknowledged, or publicly mourned. As a result, people might feel like they have to repress their emotions or feel embarrassed by them, which…
