My Therapist Says
My Therapist Says Feelings Aren’t Facts
‘I feel angry, I am not anger. I feel afraid. I am not my fear either.’
When a family emergency rocked my family last year, my husband and I found ourselves in the blessed but lonely position of being The Only Ones Who Could Help. After we had a conversation about how much money we needed, how much we had available, and how much was on the way, we wrote out a list of what we needed to do.
Our discussion had gone well, and we agreed it would be necessary to cut back on a few things if we wanted to help our family, and maintain some sense of financial stability in our own home. We made a list of bills, using thick-tipped pens to cross out the ones we would work to eliminate or reduce over the next month. I crossed my fingers, and hoped we would stick to our plan, but I had my doubts. Neither of us was particularly good at delayed gratification on our own, but we learned over the years, if we did it for each other, or together for someone else, we could get it done.
Whenever my husband and I need to make a major shift in the way we live, which will happen for various reasons from time to time, we struggle to do so individually. I might miss a necessary doctor’s appointment until my husband says, “I’m worried. Please, go for…
