Our Brains Are Struggling with Basic Social Skills
Understanding the science of awkwardness
This is a modified excerpt from Inside Your Head 🧠, a weekly newsletter exploring why your brain makes you think, feel, and act the way you do, written by me, Elemental’s senior writer and a former brain scientist. Subscribe here so you won’t miss the next one.
My fiancé and I have a special voice we use with our dog. It’s not a sweet, high-pitched voice; it’s a low, silly, mannish voice with drawn-out vowels, and it usually ends in upspeak. We use it to ask her if she’s the best girl or where her stuffed elephant, Mr. Elefante, is. It’s weird, no question about it, but I think most people with pets do something similar. (Right? Please tell me we’re not the only ones…)
The thing is, though, I’ve noticed this voice creeping into the way we speak outside of the house, too. We use it to ask each other questions or to talk about other dogs we see in the neighborhood. One time it slipped out in front of a friend, and it was pretty awkward.
It turns out that the uncomfortable, cringe-worthy feeling you have when you’ve called someone by the wrong name or told a joke that fell flat or used your dog voice out in public is actually a useful signal from your brain. Awkwardness indicates that a social faux pas has occurred…
