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Elemental
Your life, sourced by science. A publication from Medium about health and wellness.

My Therapist Says

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My Therapist Says

As the pandemic recedes, I’ve got to decide what kind of life I actually want to live

When school let out for winter break of 2020, I finally started to lose my shit. It wasn’t the holidays, a possible election coup, my kids off Zoom school for a couple weeks, writing deadlines, managing my newsletter, or having to ready my online classes for a January 4 start…


My Therapist Says

Excavating those ‘little t’ traumas has helped me chip away at the bigger ones

When I first started going to therapy at 19, I had a pretty good idea of the traumas I wanted to excavate: divorce, parental addiction, eviction — the “big T” traumas that are easy to define in a word.

I used to think the only reason to go to therapy…


MY THERAPIST SAYS

Here’s how my marriage improved when I learned to do it right — and when to skip the apology altogether

I stood at the sink and glared at my husband, Paul, who traipsed through the kitchen in his shoes. Again. “I forgot my phone,” he said, creeping back out on tiptoe as if to deposit less dirt on my clean floor. He blew me a kiss before pulling the door…


My Therapist Says

Here’s how I learned to transform present pain into future growth

Illustration of a person making a voice recording while overlooking an aurora borealis of sound bites.

At 13, I told my grandmother that one day everyone would know that I was único, Spanish for unique. That was my code for being queer.

“You already are, my son. The past and the future can never meet. …


My Therapist Says

After receiving a reading that sent me spiraling, my therapist reminded me that I need to learn to trust myself

The astrologer appeared stricken as she looked at the zodiac-based tarot card before her. After pausing to digest it, she told me, “There are many people who enjoy it when you fail.”

At the time of that astrology session, which was several years ago, I had just broken up with…


My Therapist Says

Feeling antsy isn’t a character flaw but a sign

I’ve always considered myself a pragmatist — when facing a challenge, I often try to take a breath, go eat something, get some rest, and revisit with a fresh perspective in the morning. Don’t get me wrong — I make decisions based on gut feelings all the time. I just…


My Therapist Says

In a time when we’re experiencing so much turmoil, divisiveness, and lack of empathy, sensitive people are necessary

I’ll never forget the moment my son received vaccinations as an infant. He held onto me and my eyes welled up with tears as my husband innocently chuckled as he watched my reaction. All I could see was the fear in my baby boy’s eyes as he braced himself for…


My Therapist Says

I’m learning to reject the overpowering desire to have the one answer to my anxiety.

In early 2017, I experienced my first panic attack. I was in a work meeting with my manager when I began to feel hot and claustrophobic, sure I was going to throw up. I kept looking to the door, willing it to open and for an invisible force to propel…


My Therapist Says

It’s okay to lose a friendship

This summer I reached an impasse with a close friend, who is white, over the Black Lives Matter movement. In the decade we’ve known each other, I had always felt comfortable talking to him about my own experience of otherness as an Indian American. …


My Therapist Says

Instead of focusing on worst-case outcomes that are already highly unlikely, why not consider the total opposite?

When the pandemic hit, my biggest fear was losing my job. I struggled to think about other things, but my mind kept repeating the same chorus ad nauseam: I’m going to lose this gig, the best one I’ve ever had. I’m going to lose this job, and I won’t be…

Elemental

Your life, sourced by science. A publication from Medium about health and wellness.

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