The Science of Shame

Shame is a powerful emotion and has the potential to shape people’s lives in significant ways

Ashley Abramson
Elemental

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Illustration: Simone Noronha

Systemic racism isn’t anything new, but many white people are newly grappling with their complicity in white supremacy — which can lead to some complicated emotions. While a healthy dose of guilt over the collective role in anti-Black racism can motivate people to listen, learn, and do better, experts say wallowing in shame could accomplish the opposite.

Both guilt and shame stem from a perceived sense of wrongdoing, but understanding the difference can affect your ability to disengage from damaging behaviors. Jena Field, a London-based psychologist, says guilt is focused on a behavior — that’s why researchers call guilt a “moral and adaptive emotion ”— while shame is focused on the wrongdoer’s identity.

“[Shame] causes a fear response that makes us either get defensive or hide, which doesn’t allow us to step back and see what we can do differently,” Field says.

Lea Flego, a marriage and family therapist in Oregon, says shame might keep you from changing behaviors, which can be damaging in the fight against systemic racism. “If we experience shame as allies, then we won’t want to acknowledge the times we’ve benefited from a racist society,” she says. “The criticism feels so…

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Ashley Abramson
Elemental

Writer-mom hybrid. Health & psychology stories in NYT, WaPo, Allure, Real Simple, & more.