Pain: That Handicap Beneath Our Clothes
A retired psychiatrist on living with chronic pain
About 50 million of us in the United States have a secret, hidden handicap: chronic pain.
Yet we, myself included, dissemble well. When we put down our crutches, walkers, and the outside accouterments of disability, people might never guess what we are contending with. We hide the pain behind the mask of a smile and suppress it artfully in our interactions. But the cost is high: The toll of dealing with pain and its concomitant afflictions — day in and day out, week in and week out, month in and month out — is often unbearable.
Pain saps our energy and kills our sleep. It’s enraging in its stealth. In addition to hand arthritis, I struggle with back and hip pain, which become worse as the day progresses — the more I move and walk, the more pain I am in. I start the day feeling normal, but through simple tasks like getting breakfast, getting cleaned up, and walking around the house, I agitate the Pain Gods. They are out for me.
Noon is my witching hour, and the name of the game then becomes “fight and contend.” I marshal all of my psychological strength and all my techniques: medicine, lidocaine patches, more medicine, stretching, rest, and sitting on the heating pad. These are my temporary bandages until the pain…
