Therapists Say It’s Okay to Use Pandemic Guilt on Your Parents

Even eight months in, this can still be so touchy

Anna Maltby
Elemental
Published in
2 min readNov 24, 2020

--

Photo: John Moore/Getty Images

Back in March, you may have noticed an odd… apathy? complacency? willful ignorance? among family members of a certain age — people who, despite being among the most vulnerable to Covid-19 (we knew this even then!), seemed generally unworried about the whole thing. Whatever has happened in your family in the interim, it’s possible that as the holidays approach, your older relatives’ understandable need for love, connection, and tradition is once again outweighing the many hard lessons these long pandemic months have wrought. (As The Onion put it, Mom Completely Understands That Coming to Thanksgiving Is Risky and That You Don’t Love Her Anymore.) If that’s the case, consider revisiting this story by Rina Raphael that Elemental ran on March 13. (Side note: On March 13, we apparently thought this would be over in “a few weeks.” OMG.) Among other smart advice, the experts say it’s completely okay to tap into parental guilt: “I am really concerned you might get sick if you go to this big event, and it would make me really happy if you didn’t.”

More suggestions here:

--

--

Anna Maltby
Elemental

Editor and writer. Past: Elemental, Real Simple, Refinery29, SELF. Certified personal trainer; prenatal and postnatal exercise specialist. Cat & person mom.