What You’re Telling Your Fat Friend When You Call Your Body ‘Average’
When ‘average’ stops being mathematical and becomes a value judgment
“How would you describe your size?”
I am being interviewed by a woman who has asked to speak with me as part of her academic research. She has taken issue with nearly every descriptive term I’ve used to describe my body — plus size, fat, thin, slim, straight size. So I’ve asked her what words she uses, and how she would describe her own body.
As an undeniably fat person, descriptors are often foisted on my body without my input or consent. So rather than stumbling around language as it applies to someone else’s body, I do what I have long wished others would for mine: just ask.
“Why should I have to?” She bristles at my question, like so many straight size people before her. Her body has the privilege of disappearing, a cultural default that never needs to be named. Mine deviates, which others often read as an invitation to judge and discuss my size, often without my input or consent. She is baffled at the thought of having to name her size; I am perplexed at the thought of not having to name, explain, and excuse mine.
When it comes to defining average, bodies with privilege are…
