Why Dating in the Teen Years Is Overrated
Research reveals that not everyone is doing it
Harris was 21 years old when he met his first girlfriend.
They sat next to each other in a seminar on global health in college. He hadn’t been looking for a romantic encounter; it just happened. His friends applauded; his family sighed with relief that, finally, their “precious boy” had met a nice girl. “I don’t know what all the fuss was about,” he says. “I just wasn’t interested in dating before.”
Sexual late bloomers are often regarded as odd or even dysfunctional by society. But some emerging research takes the side of young people like Harris: Teenagers who don’t date are likely doing just fine — and in some respects, may be better off than their coupled-up peers.
Adolescence is said to be a time for sexual exploration. And studies dating back to the 1980s confirm that Americans between the ages of 15 and 18 take to coupling up. Going back even further, dating was thought of as an important developmental step for teens in the 1950s. Famed American neurobiologist Lewis L. Judd argued in 1967 that having “appropriate sexual identity” can lead to the development of meaningful relationships. And popular culture, of course, reinforces the notion that dating in your teens is the norm, from Sixteen Candles to 10 Things I…
