Why Even the Most Reasonable People You Know Are Bending Covid Safety Rules

Social distancing guidelines go against our deepest instincts and cultural norms. Can we overcome that as a society?

Melinda Wenner Moyer
Elemental

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Illustration: Xavier Lalanne-Tauzia

It was a warm September evening, perfect for a socially distanced outdoor gathering. When she arrived at her friends’ house in rural Pennsylvania, Karen — who asked that we only use her first name to protect her friends’ privacy — dutifully donned her mask and walked straight to the back patio. The hosts, close friends of hers, had planned their get-together carefully. They set up chairs more than six feet apart on their patio, they asked everyone to bring their own drinks, and they planned to order individual meals from a restaurant to avoid sharing food. Although the other two families had their kids in tow, Karen left her two young children at home with her husband, worried that they wouldn’t be able to stay socially distant. After getting settled on the patio, they all took off their masks and began catching up.

For the first few hours, everything went to plan. Then, one of the kids got up to show off his Pokémon cards, walking from person to person and breaking the six-foot rule in the process. No one, however, said anything. Soon after, the sun set and the temperature dropped, and one of the…

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Melinda Wenner Moyer
Elemental

Science and parenting journalist. Author of HOW TO RAISE KIDS WHO AREN’T ASSHOLES. Sign up for my free parenting newsletter: melindawmoyer.substack.com.