One Day at a Time
How to Stop the Endless Worrying
Daily insights on life in the face of uncertainty, by psychiatrist and habit change specialist Dr. Jud Brewer
In today’s column, I want to talk about how worry and control are related. Let’s explore why we feel like we need to be in control — and how trying to gain control over things beyond our reach can cause problems, and what we can do to balance this instinct.
In these unusual, uncomfortable times, I’ve seen a lot of people trying to maintain or exert control over their situation. I know professors who are spending a lot of time trying to create the perfect online learning experience for their students. I know parents who are trying to create the perfect homeschool environment for their children. I know many people stocking up on food and supplies or just plain worrying quite a bit (worry in and of itself can be an attempt to control).
So what’s going on here? When is this attempt to create control helpful, and when is it not so helpful? And how do these behaviors increase anxiety?
Let’s start by looking at the brain.
I’ve mentioned reward-based learning in previous columns. It’s the strongest learning system our brains have, and it has three main…