Member-only story
MY THERAPIST SAYS
My Therapist Says I’m Not Paranoid, I’m Being Gaslit
The problem isn’t you
If my therapist had a catchphrase, it would be, “Okay, let’s reframe!” Change the story you tell yourself, she always advises. Talk to yourself as if you’re a close friend.
If I had a catchphrase, it would be, “But, I’m the problem!”
Personal blame and guilt have been my default settings for a very long time. Presented with a bad situation, I will always find a way to make everything my fault. My therapist often presents me with an alternative — what if the problem isn’t me? What if I stopped internalizing, and started externalizing?
Given the federal, state, and local governments’ failure to responsibly address the Covid-19 pandemic, I’m right to be worried.
For months now, one of my recurring self-criticisms is around leaving the house. I’m nervous when people walk too close to me on the sidewalk. Passing a jogger without a mask feels deadly. I don’t like venturing too far from my neighborhood. During the onset of stay-at-home orders in the Washington, D.C., region, I spent hours worrying about the movements of my younger siblings who live in D.C. suburbs. I still worry. My…