My Therapist Says
My Therapist Says Restlessness Can Be Rewarding
Feeling antsy isn’t a character flaw but a sign
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I’ve always considered myself a pragmatist — when facing a challenge, I often try to take a breath, go eat something, get some rest, and revisit with a fresh perspective in the morning. Don’t get me wrong — I make decisions based on gut feelings all the time. I just try to give it time to clarify and not make emotional decisions impulsively. Often it’s not a crisis; I’m just hungry.
But one day I came across a problem that no amount of snacking and waiting could solve: What should I do about my marriage? The question sat there like a rock, obstructing my path. I wasn’t used to being so clueless about my own feelings, so after months of this, I did the pragmatic thing and started seeing a therapist. I’d never gone to therapy before, but I’d seen people do it on TV, and if nothing else, it might be interesting.
Dr. S saw his patients in the library in his house, located in a charming part of central London that I’d never considered as a place where normal people lived. I mean, I’d literally run into the Harry Potter walking tour on my way there. Dr. S was an older gentleman with kind eyes and partial to house slippers and a vest over his collared shirt. During our sessions, I’d sit in an antique-looking chair covered in blue velvet, and if my eyes started to water, Dr. S would retrieve a silver box of tissues and place it on the rosewood table to my side. He would sit with his back to the stained glass windows, scrawling notes on large sheets of paper — I never saw them, but I gathered it was some sort of spider chart. I imagined it as a map of my brain, connecting everything about me in increasing details. If I changed topics, he’d flick though the sheets, through the layers of my brain, to continue in the right place.
Dr. S helped me find the answer to my initial question about my marriage almost immediately — two or three sessions tops. I’m divorced now because once I…
