MY THERAPIST SAYS
My Therapist Says That’s a Thought, Not a Feeling
How the Feeling Wheel has helped me navigate my emotions during a pandemic
“How does that make you feel?” is probably the question most associated with therapy. It’s meant to help people connect with their feelings, but sometimes it can be hard to adequately express emotions. I should know — my therapist calls me out on this on a regular basis. We were discussing my relationship with close family members when my therapist asked how a particular situation made me feel.
“Well, I think…” and I rattled on.
“That’s a thought,” she said gently. “Not a feeling.”
“Oh, umm… okay,” I stammered. “Ugh, I wish there was a list of feelings I could just pick and choose from.”
Lo and behold, there is. My therapist mentioned the Feeling Wheel during our session and a quick Google search returned a colorful wheel with a spectrum of emotions. First developed by psychotherapist Gloria Willcox in the 1980s, the Feeling Wheel is composed of six core emotions at the center of the wheel: happy, sad, disgusted, angry, fearful, bad, and surprised. Notice that “fine”—a common response to the question “How are you?”—isn’t one of them. That’s because “fine,” my friends, isn’t a…
