My Therapist Says
My Therapist Says to Write Notes to My Future Self
Here’s how I learned to transform present pain into future growth
At 13, I told my grandmother that one day everyone would know that I was único, Spanish for unique. That was my code for being queer.
“You already are, my son. The past and the future can never meet. That’s why God placed the present in the middle,” she told me.
My grandmother’s words came back to me in an unexpected way, thanks to the chaos that the Covid-19 pandemic wrought in both the world and my life. Before the pandemic, I had a thriving special events business in San Francisco. I planned elegant galas for startups and cooked and hosted dinner parties in my home for international guests. I received a lot of press and won awards. And then, suddenly, I went from having to decline business to all of my clients canceling on me. In one day, I saw the next 10 months of my life disappear faster than free shots at a Gay Pride fiesta. That night, I woke up in a swamp, my sweat mixed with half a bag of kale chips that I had left under my bedcovers. At least I didn’t wet the bed, like I used to when I got nervous as a child.
I was left in my grandparents’ care after my mother divorced and decided to go to the United States to…
