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Optimize Me
The Butt Is Not a Backdoor to Health and Wellness
Coffee enemas, colonics, and perineum sunning are not good ideas
Optimize Me is an Elemental column exploring (and fact-checking) the weirdest self-improvement trends. It comes out every Tuesday.
Forget about what you put into your mouth; apparently there’s a whole other hole that can be optimized for wellness through either what goes in or what comes out. Water, coffee, alcohol — all your favorite beverages can be consumed in rectal form. Some liquids are intended to be absorbed into the bloodstream, whereas others are supposed to be pushed back out, along with the rest of the contents of your colon. These health claims of these practices include increased vitality, energy, and detoxification — except in the case of alcohol where the goal is enhanced intoxication. It should be noted that while there is little to no scientific evidence backing up these purported benefits, there are several cases of people becoming injured and even dying after receiving a beverage enema.
The most common colon health practice is colonics, the popularity of which has waxed and waned over the years. The treatment involves sending large volumes — up to 16 gallons — of warm water up the anus and into the colon to clean out your insides. According to the Association of Registered Colon Hydrotherapists, a colonic “firstly cleans out waste matter in the colon, and secondly it stimulates the natural nerve and muscle action of the bowels to encourage proper bowel function.” They say this can give people “a sensation of overall well-being and energy.”
Since the time of ancient Egyptians, humans have pursued colon cleansing out of concern that toxins are not fully flushed from the intestines the natural way. The belief goes that the remaining stool becomes putrefied and byproducts from the feces are absorbed back into the bloodstream where they poison the body — a process called autointoxication. This theory has been thoroughly debunked in modern medicine. Your body does a perfectly fine job of flushing and expelling on its own, and if things really do get backed up, there are much easier ways to loosen things up and speed it along, such as fiber, good hydration, and over-the-counter laxatives.
