Optimize Me
The Butt Is Not a Backdoor to Health and Wellness
Coffee enemas, colonics, and perineum sunning are not good ideas
Optimize Me is an Elemental column exploring (and fact-checking) the weirdest self-improvement trends. It comes out every Tuesday.
Forget about what you put into your mouth; apparently there’s a whole other hole that can be optimized for wellness through either what goes in or what comes out. Water, coffee, alcohol — all your favorite beverages can be consumed in rectal form. Some liquids are intended to be absorbed into the bloodstream, whereas others are supposed to be pushed back out, along with the rest of the contents of your colon. These health claims of these practices include increased vitality, energy, and detoxification — except in the case of alcohol where the goal is enhanced intoxication. It should be noted that while there is little to no scientific evidence backing up these purported benefits, there are several cases of people becoming injured and even dying after receiving a beverage enema.
The most common colon health practice is colonics, the popularity of which has waxed and waned over the years. The treatment involves sending large volumes — up to 16 gallons — of warm water up the anus and into the colon to clean out your insides…
