You Can’t Spell Covid Without OCD

My brain has been training for this pandemic for years

Sara Elizabeth
Elemental

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Photo: Yulia Shaihudinova/Getty Images

Did I wash every square centimeter of my hands just now?

Did I use enough soap?

Was the water hot or cold enough to kill any potential virus?

Was the chorus from that song a full 20 seconds? Do I need to start over, if not?

At this point, these intrusive, incessant questions are “normal.” And yet, it’s confusing to distinguish them from my typical brain buzz and daily anxiety thoughts.

For the last six years, I have been working through my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). That’s it — that’s the punchline of this whole essay. Why? Because right now, I am having to straddle a very precarious line — wondering if I am showering more than usual again because I’m anxious due to the constant barrage of news talking about how the coronavirus can live in the air for up to 30 minutes and on surfaces for hours and hours? Or am I showering and washing my hands more than usual because the CDC has explicitly told me to?

I really don’t know.

But to know that celebrities like ​Sam Smith​ are talking about dealing with OCD during this pandemic, as well as the New York Times​, and many others…

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Sara Elizabeth
Elemental

Sara Elizabeth Grossman is a writer in Denver, CO. She edits Matthew’s Place, is on the board of The Dru Project, and runs a LGBTQ marketing firm — CODE-mktg.